Love, Brain, Heart, Boys, Girls

well, good night everyone. tonight, I want to become my old self. a BOY.
yup, that irrational, emotional, spoiled, stupid, and egoistic old me, the boy.

also let’s tonight talk about LOVE.

the GRAND Love everyone’s looking for. a thing everyone’s talking about long before the time even existed. thing that everyone’s desperately search and long for. yes. this is it. this is love.

And then, let’s talk about HEART. the source of all the longing and searching for love. the one responsible for the butterfly in your stomach, the red colour on your face, yes. all the excitement, and pain, comes from the heart. The heart that’s longing for love.

and let’s all also talk about the BRAIN, the good, rational, trustworthy brain. the one who takes control, giving you all the rationality you need. keeps you calm, composed and reliable. It’s the one that keeps you at bay, hold your composure, and hold all the brakes.

A MAN, such as how i usually like to picture myself , always depicted as the one who has all the rationality when they fall in love. A boy, just like it’s mature counterparts, also depicted as a person who can control their emotion. they tend to use their brain, not their heart. They also often pictured as insensitive, rational, and tend to use a  logic – based decision, when it comes to LOVE. brain is a sure win.

A WOMAN, and a girls, as it’s younger counterparts, somehow depicted as the exact opposite as a boy. they tend to use their heart when they’re facing a problem, especially when it comes to LOVE. Heart is a sure win.

But guys, let me tell you this. as a Boy I am tonight.
Boys don’t use their head. Hell, their BRAIN is dead when they fall in love! they purely act on a whim. A burst of spontanity. they follow what their heart says. and Damn they hurt badly by that. I hereby declare that, in case of love. All men will act like a spoiled, irrational, emotional, stupid, and egoistic boy. It’s just like that one little boy you see at the mall that wanted the good new toys, and will do ANYTHING to get it. Yes. that’s what we are.

Although some of us did hide it quite well behind the mask of fake smile and strong heart, we ALL wanted our toys! that’s it! (pardon my metaphore. of course women are not our toys, they’re our most precious partner in life). and we want it badly… so bad that it’s hurt!

the two things that stopping us from doing exactly anything to get our Love are , obviously not the brain , our Ego, and you. the Girls.

it’s all because the fact that you’re not a toy, jewel,  or even a million dollar of money. NO, it’s because you’re far more better than that, we stop ourself. it’s because you are you, the very same beautiful human that God created equal to us, Men. And because you have your own wants, and because maybe, sadly, we are not one of it, that we stop trying exactly anything to get you.

and we tried to perfect our mask of fake smile and strong heart. till finally we forgot how to smile, and our heart become as strong and as cold as a rock.

And sometimes, maybe some other times, we will found another Love.
but as for tonight, I will still be a boy perfecting my smile.



Talking about myself, it won’t be complete without talking about them. CAMONITYS AND THE GIRLS.
Some people said that best friend is our second family, the family that we choose ourself.
and here they are : my second family that i choose by myself.

Let’s Start With CAMONITYS.

C –  Stands For Christopher a.k.a C’bonk,
Our BIG Brother.
He is the biggest and the oldest of all camonitys, his presence give us warmth and easiness.
He may not speak much, he may not give you the best solution for your problem.
but you can be sure he’ll be there when you need him.
A caring and gentle person, a reliable and compassionate brother.

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Wondering if I really tried everything I could
Not knowing if I should try a little harder

Oh, but I’m scared to death
That there may not be another one like this
And I confess that I’m only holding on by a thin thin thread


– Sad by Maroon 5 –


The whole night feels weird…
the melancholy just build up, I even almost cried on my way back home.
I am sad… I am not sure why, but maybe it’s because the void is still there even after all this time.
I wonder if I really tried everything I could
And yes, I’m scared to death that there may not be another one…

Well tonight, I am just sad.

Maroon 5 week…

So, I’ve been listening to maroon 5 overexposed album for  3 days…
the songs are awesome! so i guess i will share some of it to you here, my own favorite of course 😉

1. Until You’re Over Me

I cannot refuse your eyes, please don’t look at tonight..

My heart beats fast I know you’re there I’ll pretend like i don’t care

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this time i would like to talk about priority.
why? because at last, i finally feel overwhelmed by my works and personal needs.

these past few years, i can proudly said that I’ve never really freaked out about anything…
well, there are some tension, but usually i can manage to keep it under control.

but not now…

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