Love, Brain, Heart, Boys, Girls

well, good night everyone. tonight, I want to become my old self. a BOY.
yup, that irrational, emotional, spoiled, stupid, and egoistic old me, the boy.

also let’s tonight talk about LOVE.

the GRAND Love everyone’s looking for. a thing everyone’s talking about long before the time even existed. thing that everyone’s desperately search and long for. yes. this is it. this is love.

And then, let’s talk about HEART. the source of all the longing and searching for love. the one responsible for the butterfly in your stomach, the red colour on your face, yes. all the excitement, and pain, comes from the heart. The heart that’s longing for love.

and let’s all also talk about the BRAIN, the good, rational, trustworthy brain. the one who takes control, giving you all the rationality you need. keeps you calm, composed and reliable. It’s the one that keeps you at bay, hold your composure, and hold all the brakes.

A MAN, such as how i usually like to picture myself , always depicted as the one who has all the rationality when they fall in love. A boy, just like it’s mature counterparts, also depicted as a person who can control their emotion. they tend to use their brain, not their heart. They also often pictured as insensitive, rational, and tend to use a  logic – based decision, when it comes to LOVE. brain is a sure win.

A WOMAN, and a girls, as it’s younger counterparts, somehow depicted as the exact opposite as a boy. they tend to use their heart when they’re facing a problem, especially when it comes to LOVE. Heart is a sure win.

But guys, let me tell you this. as a Boy I am tonight.
Boys don’t use their head. Hell, their BRAIN is dead when they fall in love! they purely act on a whim. A burst of spontanity. they follow what their heart says. and Damn they hurt badly by that. I hereby declare that, in case of love. All men will act like a spoiled, irrational, emotional, stupid, and egoistic boy. It’s just like that one little boy you see at the mall that wanted the good new toys, and will do ANYTHING to get it. Yes. that’s what we are.

Although some of us did hide it quite well behind the mask of fake smile and strong heart, we ALL wanted our toys! that’s it! (pardon my metaphore. of course women are not our toys, they’re our most precious partner in life). and we want it badly… so bad that it’s hurt!

the two things that stopping us from doing exactly anything to get our Love are , obviously not the brain , our Ego, and you. the Girls.

it’s all because the fact that you’re not a toy, jewel,  or even a million dollar of money. NO, it’s because you’re far more better than that, we stop ourself. it’s because you are you, the very same beautiful human that God created equal to us, Men. And because you have your own wants, and because maybe, sadly, we are not one of it, that we stop trying exactly anything to get you.

and we tried to perfect our mask of fake smile and strong heart. till finally we forgot how to smile, and our heart become as strong and as cold as a rock.

And sometimes, maybe some other times, we will found another Love.
but as for tonight, I will still be a boy perfecting my smile.


To Lead, not motivate


I found a nice article recently. stating that the role of leader is NOT to motivate, but to lead.

this point of view totally contradict what i’ve learnt… so i was really intrigued by it. Ability to motivate people is often pictured as a quality a great leader should have.

the article state that, motivation comes from within, and we can do nothing about it. a great motivator can spark the motivation. but to make it last, people need to make the motivation their own. not just a pety sparkle spaked by other.

well, after seeing (and being in) so many examples, i can truly agree with the statement.

 many people i know is a good person. they can certainly lead a team. but most of them is trying to save everybody, and sadly, most of them spent too much effort to save everybody. (that’s arguably worth “saving”).

take this as an example. most person I know in my inner circle is a good person. most of them is an excellent individual, and because of that, they has given the chance to lead a team or two.

the thing is, not every team consist of a great talent.
sometimes there are “bad apples” inside it and all we can do is to deal with it.

most of the time, the leader (which is my friends) will focus the attention trying to “repair” the “bad apples”. sadly, so little of them succedeed.

the thing is, we cannot really fix anything that’s related to human psychology or behaviour, without changing the human him/her – self. and changing a person from years of habit requires a lot of time and effort, and I mean A LOT.

we can motivate them. but all we said mostly will just be a sparkle that spark for a while. IF they don’t decide to take up that spark, and light the motivation by His/ Her own. it’ll be lost.

so, if you’re a leader, a responsible being to LEAD a team, with all the burden of performance you should shoulder, do you have any luxury to do all the motivation? I don’t think so. 

So, if you’re responsible for anything and you are somewhat a leader. take my note.

You’re here to LEAD. do your job. Lead your team towards the goal. set the example, show them how. And don’t lose your focus.

and yes, every people need a push and boost every now and then, and give them just that. it’s needed. but never waste your time on someone who can’t stand up for they own.

and hey! if you’re trying to be nice, maybe you can give them a chance to walk off and find the job they really interested in. 

Let’s end this with a quote.

“All I can do is to point you the way, and hope that you’ll walk towards it.”